Friday, December 30, 2011

In (Quick) Review

I will join the blog masses and do my version of an end-of-2011 recap. I should preface this post by saying, I'm sitting in a crowded coffee shop, with my Hillsong Pandora station blasting through my ear phones. I've been an emotional wreck this week, maybe it's hormonal, maybe I'm just processing though some things.

I don't have one single word to describe 2011, at least not right now I don't. We'll see how writing this post goes and maybe I'll come up with one.

January 1st 2011 I accomplished a major goal in my life by running a 5K. I wish I had sailed on my excitement and pride longer than that one night. Creating a lifestyle that needs working out is on my list for 2012.

The plague hit our house in January and we spent two weeks feeling crappy.

January we celebrated my sister's Associate degree and was the last time we saw my dad. Ever. Oh how many things I would have done differently had I only known.

February brought Valentine's day and a last-minute get away to Edgefield for massages and soaking in the hot tub while rain gently fell on our heads. We also celebrated my 26th with a lovely day together, just Ben and I.

March we celebrated my sweet husband with a party - I had food and drinks for 17 people, but only 3 showed. Oh well.

April was big and we decided to move from our lovely home to our new lovely home.

April also crashed our world down when we found out about my dad.

We simply survived in May. We celebrated my dad's life and grieved as a family. So bittersweet.

May marked 4 years for my sweet husband and me. Wow, where did the time go?

June was Hannah's graduation from MSU and a mini family reunion with Ben's family. We spent time in Bozeman and in Yellowstone. On this trip we had the best ice cream ever (homemade vanilla with hand picked blackberries blended in...oh my. I'm salivating). Ben's family rented a cabin just outside of Yellowstone and we enjoyed our time together with his aunt, uncle and grandmother.

July brought long, lazy days and a lot of unpacking, as well as a life change I've yet to reveal on this blog. We also tried to go backpacking but were waylaid with snow.

August was lovely and low-key.

September brought a new car and a California road trip and a few days spent in San Francisco, Sonoma and the Redwoods. I love road trips with my little family.

In October I got a glimpse of my dream by babysit my friend's daughter for 5 glorious days. How sweet it was to care for a precious babe for so many days. It did my heart good.

October also marked Ben's last show with Painted Grey.

I was so thankful in November. Thankful for our home, for our friends, for our health, for my family, for  a solid marriage, thankful for my job, even when it breaks my heart.

December has been bittersweet. We were so blessed with a cozy little Christmas, but I was very aware that my dad was not here to share it with us. When we went to Hallmark to pick out our ornament for the year (a tradition from my childhood I've adopted as ours as well), we couldn't figure out what best represented this past year. I had forgot. Forgot I lost my dad. Forgot the pain and emptiness. Forgot my siblings would not have their dad at their graduations, their weddings. Forgot there would be a grandfather my children would never meet. Forgot. Then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me. We choose an ornament about remembering.

It may sound harsh to say I forgot about my dad, because of course, I never forget, but sometimes, my mind blocks it out. It's funny how life just goes on. The next day comes and has expectations for you. You cope and adjust your life in order to keep going. You just gotta keep going. I was talking with my mom this morning and she echoed my feelings of how sometimes, without warning, the grief and sadness comes flooding back. But you know what, we have to embrace it. These feelings of missing the ones we love honor their memory. Learning how to make a path around this roadblock is a testament to the love we feel for them. And as my mom said, it's a blessing that my dad was someone worth missing, because he so is.

Friday, December 2, 2011

So, yesterday after finishing my post, my back started to ache again. I began to worry and though I should get it checked out, if for nothing than a paper trail. With work-related injuries, no matter how small, you should always be sure to cross your t's and dot your i's. I called my primary care (turns out I have one, I didn't know) but they couldn't see me until tomorrow so I decided to the ED. I hate that our hospital system doesn't have an urgent care because using the emergency room for non-serious issues is one of the reasons why our medical care costs so darn much, but considering I have insurance and it's at my work, I gave it a go. Thankfully, they weren't very busy and the whole thing took about an hour and a half. The NP I saw thought I had pulled a muscle in my "thoracic region" and sent me on my way with big-gun Ibuprofen, a muscle relaxer and a recommendation for a massage - yee ha!

After the ER, I met my hubby at his work to do a little shopping and visit with him on his lunch break, and, then, much to my surprise, I actually went to the gym! I usually make plans to go to the gym but then take advantage of any excuse to keep me out of it (traffic, I'm hungry, it's going to be so busy, I have groceries to get, I'm sure there's laundry to fold at home, etc.). A doctor at work suggested I swim for a few days to gently stretch my muscles, and I didn't want to tell him I didn't when he asked, so I just trucked my butt over to the gym and made myself get into my swimsuit and into the water. 

Getting to the gym is indeed the hardest part. Once I started swimming, I felt so good. Yes, my lungs were burning and I tried to swallow a good bit of water, but I was so proud I actually went. I was also proud I actually did as many laps as I said I would do - I usually only do half of what I intend to. I sat in the sauna for a while after my swim and just enjoyed how my body felt. 

It was well into the evening when I was done at the gym and I was pooped. Ben was on his way home as well, so I asked him to stop and pick up a pizza while I got my prescription. He was tired from work and I couldn't even think about starting to make dinner at 8:00 pm. When we got home, my sweet husband held up the two RedBox movies he rented while waiting for the pizza, one of which was the same I got from the RedBox while I waited. I guess we know each other pretty well ;)

We enjoyed our pizza and a movie and then I tried one of my muscle relaxers (which I was warned would make me sleepy) and then went to bed. I guess those meds really work, because I slept for 12 hours! I guess my body was really needing some rest!

Now, I'm catching up on my biggest, most daunting chore: laundry. At least I have Gossip Girl and a movie to keep me company. 

Thursday, December 1, 2011


  • Holy moly! It's December? When the heck did that happen? I can't even believe it! Christmas is in 24!
  • Ben and I are not doing gifts this year, kind of. Instead of presents we purchased a new TV at the insistence of my sweet husband who has assured me our current TV is much too small. That will most certainly not be the case when this arrives in a few weeks:

  • I hurt my back at work yesterday. I was helping my adult-sized patient with left sided weakness "scooch" up in bed, and even though she had done so twice, on the third "scooch" I was the only one who moved. The combination of me pulling her arm up, and her lack of movement pulling me down toward her tweaked my muscles and I have had pain ever since. I even left work early in order to come home and lay flat on the couch. I am too freaking young to hurt my back! I will be going to the gym to swim some laps at the suggestion of the PICU attending yesterday, hopefully that will help.
  • I have been itching to do some crafting, but I don't know exactly what I want to do or where I would put it if I did. I have pinned so many cute wreaths, but really, I have a small house - I can only really use one at a time. Ben ordered a fresh wreath from the local high school and I am looking forward to its arrival so it can grace my front door. 

  • I think my next project will be this, for over our bed

  • Or this, spelling out "JOY"

Ok, that's all for today, have a lovely Thursday!