Monday, July 11, 2011

A (potential) Fork in the Road

Ben is doing something this morning that could change up our little routine big time.

He has been in school for essentially our entire marriage. The original plan was for him to graduate this summer, but, as it often does, life got in the way and he was not able to attend school full-time during these past four years and his graduation schedule has been pushed back. Money was tight and financial assistance is hard to obtain these days. It would be ideal for us to pay cash for his school, but we tried that too, and another $1,000 + a month is just impossible for us right now.

Ben has been praying about his educational path, and seeking guidance since day one. He had brought up changing paths a few years ago, thinking a lesser degree would be less of a financial burden, but that door closed almost as quickly as we thought about opening it. Having Ben in school has been a struggle on many levels, but it has always been the right choice for us, the clear choice, the open door - until now, maybe.

When my husband said to me one evening, "I've been thinking about doing something" with the all-to-familiar I'm-gonna-stress-you-out smirk in his eye, I was surprised to feel peace and not stress when he finally blurted the words out. I felt God's blessing on this and I knew this was something he should pursue.

I'll be honest and say that Ben's potential career change became a major topic of thought, and though I kept expecting stress to come, it never did. Instead I felt peace. Peace about who my husband is, and who he wants to be. Peace about our life and our future and overwhelming peace about who our God is and how much He loves us. This season is a season of faith, of trusting God's path for our life. I believe that this pursuit is completely apart of our plan and Ben was supposed to have this tug on his heart on purpose.

Now, I don't know if what Ben is doing this morning will lead to anything tangible. I will admit that I am excited for him, and for us. The lure of a two-income family is tempting to think about, as is having a husband who is proud of and satisfied with what he does, but I've tried to consciously pray for provision and for God's will to be done every time I begin to think of it.

As it often is with our Saviour's plan, I don't know the purpose of this jaunt from what was routine, but I am thankful for it. I have been reminded that our plans are not our own, and something much bigger than us is directing our path. I have so clearly seen that we are right exactly where He wants us to be. Right here, right now - this is where we are supposed to be, doing just exactly what He wants us to do. Standing here, having faith, growing trust and hoping for more than what we can imagine for ourselves.

So this morning, I am praying. Praying for my husband as he steps out in faith. Praying for his clarity of mind and strength of body. Praying for favor and for blessings. Praying for peace and assuredness. Praying for a door that is either open or closed. Offering praise and thankfulness to the God who loves us more than we deserve.


  1. yeah! I wanna know what his plan is : ) But I enjoyed reading your post anyway ; )

  2. Wow, this sounds exactly like me and my hubs!! We have been feeling so lost for the past year since all the school plans we had for him have gone down the drain, along with the finances!! That's so great you felt peace about the new adventure!!! Can't wait to hear more about it!! I'm loving your blog! :)